Grammys 2023: The Aftermath
We know you didn't watch either.
Let’s be honest: we were all watching The Last of Us instead of the Grammys last night (or, if you’re me, doing lots and lots of school work). Smart of HBO to take a break next week since RiRi (our lord and savior) shall return. ANYWAY, let’s check out a very unexciting, unsurprising night with the Grammys, the winners, the losers, and most importantly, what we got right. Smash that subscribe button, coward.
General Categories:
BEST NEW ARTIST
Nominees:
Anitta
Omar Apollo
DOMi & JD Beck
Muni Long
Samara Joy
Latto
Måneskin
Tobi Nwigwe
Molly Tuttle
Wet Leg
Winner: Samara Joy
None of channel.WAV got this one right (we all voted Latto), but the funny thing is that Brandon did pick Samara Joy out of the lineup because it sounded like “Samoa Joe.” We’ll give him half a point.
SONG OF THE YEAR
Nominees:
GAYLE - “abcdefu”
Lizzo - “About Damn Time”
Taylor Swift - “All Too Well (10 Minute Version)”
Harry Styles - “As It Was”
Beyoncé - “BREAK MY SOUL”
Adele - “Easy On Me”
DJ Khaled - “GOD DID (feat. Rick Ross, Lil Wayne, John Legend & Jay-Z)”
Kendrick Lamar - “The Heart pt. 5”
Bonnie Raitt - “Just Like That”
Winner: Bonnie Raitt’s “Just Like That”
This had to have been the underdog of underdogs, this year. Bonnie is an incredible songwriter and deserves it, but wow. Worth noting her song was the only one submitted that had one songwriting credit to it: herself.
No one at channel.WAV expected or predicted this one.
RECORD OF THE YEAR
Nominees:
ABBA - “Don’t Shut Me Down”
Adele - “Easy On Me”
Beyoncé - “BREAK MY SOUL”
Mary J. Blige - “Good Morning Gorgeous”
Brandi Carlile - “You And Me On The Rock" (feat. Lucius)”
Doja Cat - “Woman”
Steve Lacy - “Bad Habit”
Kendrick Lamar - “The Heart pt. 5”
Lizzo - “About Damn Time”
Harry Styles - “As It Was”
Winner: “About Damn Time” by Lizzo!
Not one of our experienced staffers got this category correct, how shameful.
ALBUM OF THE YEAR
Nominees:
ABBA - Voyage
Adele - 30
Bad Bunny - Un Verano Sin Ti
Beyoncé - RENAISSANCE
Mary J. Blige - Good Morning Gorgeous
Brandi Carlile - In These Silent Days
Coldplay - Music of the Spheres
Kendrick Lamar - Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers
Lizzo - Special
Harry Styles - Harry’s House
Winner: Harry Styles with Harry’s House.
None of us got this right, either, lol. The total is… *drumroll* Mr. Brandon “BSlime” Slone with a whopping victory of .5 points!
Other notable awards and events:
Before I go into a rant, I want to clarify that Mr. Harry Styles is a great artist that I love and adore… BUT that does not excuse a certain line from his acceptance speech last night. This young, white man said, while proudly toting his Grammy for Album of the Year, said “This kind of thing doesn’t happen to people like me often.” Let that sink in for a bit, and consider some of the artists he was up against last night.
Yeah, pretty dumb and ignorant statement. Some people have rushed to his defense to say that Harry is queer, but his bisexuality or lack thereof has never been confirmed. I just want to point out that his faans (similar to Swifties) have built a theory that he is queer through minor lyrical statements and the fact he doesn’t adhere to male fashion standards. He may very well be non-hetero, and he doesn’t need to prove that to anyone to validate himself or his identity. That’s not my point. It’s important to have some small degree of awareness to your white male privilege and the major success of white artists in Grammy history, Harry.
ANYWAY… rant over. Kendrick didn’t win AOTY, but he did win Rap Album of the Year over DJ Khaled, Jack Harlow, and Pusha T, all of whom look very very sad in the video above. I feel bad for Push, his album was fantastic. Maybe stop working with that antisemitic piece of trash? Kendrick always knows just what to say, too, damn.
Beyoncé actively thanked the queer community for their support of RENAISSANCE, and also for “inventing the genre” she showed some amazing love over the album as she won “Best Dance/Electronic Album.” That is how you accept an award. Both she and Kendrick took home a great amount of awards.
Beyoncé also hid behind stage when awarded her first award of the night, to which the presenters said “she was stuck in traffic.” Okay…
Kacey Musgraves gave an amazing tribute to Kentucky’s own late Loretta Lynn (which has made me cry a lot, here’s a short clip above), followed by an In Memoriam segment to remember. Quavo paid tribute to his late nephew, Takeoff at the end. Tears.
The first ever “Best Video Game Soundtrack” award was given out last night to Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla. Surprised it took so long for this award to be made.
My favorite moments of the night are by far the Motown tribute led by Stevie Wonder, and the 50-year Hip-Hop tribute with an all-star cast too long to list here.
I’m also not a fashion critic, but I have to say that everyone looked very very nice last night, there wasn’t a red carpet look that I said “ew” to for the first year.
Until next year, Grammys.
Who should’ve won, who should’ve never been nominated? Tell us in the comments and Dane will give you a firm handshake!
I don't know who should have been nominated. All I know is that I am proud to be YOUR reigning, defending, Grammy prediction champion of this world.